haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
