Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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