New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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