I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
