On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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