So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
BRING THE BAGELS
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
