What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
