Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Randomize
