If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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