Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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