I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
