ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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