you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
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