how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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