she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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