I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
