oh god the rape fog is back!
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
