Are we in a gay sports bar?
Soap is not a condiment
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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