East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Screwed.edu
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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