At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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