I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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