so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I believe in your delicious
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
