i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I didn't shave. On purpose
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
