If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
the day after is always just damage control
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
