Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
