Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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