so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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