I hate your face
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
