One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
