you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
