Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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