Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
