Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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