i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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