wakey wakey hands off snakey
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
