i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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