He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
