Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
