Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
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