Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
