At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
