therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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