Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
