Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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