Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
She just used a chaser for red wine.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
