i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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