How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
