Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
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