I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Randomize
