Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
