It was confusing and full of hummus
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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