it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
