And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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