I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
